If the shoe doesn't fit then don't wear it

To all the women who feel like I was talking about them in my last post, even if NONE of the shit in there applied to them--RELAX. Don't take yourself or this blog so seriously.

Sheesh...

Have a good day.

Top Ten Reasons Why SOME 21-23 Year Old Women Suck

1. They never live alone

At first glance this may seem ridiculous, or even arrogant, but trust me on this; if you're trying to get at a woman in this age bracket the worst thing to deal with is going to her house and deal with her dumb ass roommates. No grown ass man in his right mind wants to deal with this shit. I'm grown, I'm not on that shit no more. I wanna be able to walk around butt ass naked to the bathroom, or even have sex without somebody walking in the room on some random shit, but that ain't gonna work.

2. They act like they "might" go somewhere.

Young girls always be on that coy shit. beat it. these chicks are notoriously flakey. They're always on some "we might" go there...or on some "well if my bff calls me we're probably gonna do this.." Fuck all that. Just pick something so i can know whether I should go there and get at you or to avoid it completely because I know you're there and i don't wanna see you.

3. They blame shit on their friends.

cant even walk to the bathroom without your girlfriend in tow. grow the fuck up. i dont care what your friends are up to or are about to go.

4. They look down on all guys for hitting on them

When chicks get 25-30, being hit on aint shit, yet for a chick in this age range they seem to almost look forward to dudes hollerin at them--knowing all along they're not gonna holler back. Hell, I think they even look forward to bragging about who hit on them the night before and who they rejected. Shit is ridiculous and annoying. Shut up.

5. They think every man is trying to fuck them.

the only thing worse than looking down on dudes who wanna fuck them is assuming every dude wants to fuck them in the first place. shame on you young girl.

6. They don't pay for shit.

I'm gonna keep it all the way funky here; i have NEVER met a 21-23 year old chick that was actually down to bust out her credit card first. ever. I'm not talking about when there's 6 people there splitting a dinner bill, I'm talking about that moment when you order a drink together and she can either say "I got this" or play dumb. These chicks always play dumb.

7. They aren't particularly good in bed.

Yeah i said it--yall suck in the sack. But i do wanna say that the reason you suck isn't your fault, it's because you're fucking a bunch of dudes in your age bracket who don't know what the fuck is going on. However, at least show some initiative and some commitment to becoming a better lover at some point, and stop blaming it on dudes. step your shit up ladies.

8. They can't handle their liquor

How do i begin? I dont even think i have to. But yeah, 90% of 21-23 year olds fail to boss up when it comes to alcohol, even though they've been drinking since they were 15. Probably because they're always drinking fruity ass shit like washington apples and fuzzy navels, but still, champ the fuck up.

9. They have no direction in life

zero. none. lost in the sauce.

10. They have no story

look girl, lets keep it honest here, you haven't been through shit. a bad week to you is when your best friend actually goes through something and you've gotta listen to their bellyaching all week--not when you actually go through some real shit. while this shit is a generalization you have to admit that most 22 year old chicks life is on autopilot. you and "the struggle" have never crossed paths. shit, you probably dont even really know anybody who's struggling. beat it.

ok..i'm out. dont front like you dont feel me on this shit.

Word is blog.

In cased yall missed it: Blueprint vs Funkadelic

Last year I released a project called Blueprint vs Funkadelic. Basically I sat around with all their records and made beats out of a bunch of their stuff, and then put some rhymes with it. It was free to download and the CD version w/ instrumentals came with a free poster. Here's the link to the free version:

Click HERE to download:

And in case you're unfamiliar with the legendary band Funkadelic, check this song "Friday Night August 14th":




Word is Blog

A great blog to check out

http://25thingsaboutmysexuality.blogspot.com/

It's all your fault

So I went out tonight to Ladies 80's.

Yeah, i know what you're thinking; "print you soft...how you gonna go to Ladies 80's night, I thought you were a real rapper?" Well, you know what? Fuck yall and fuck all that rapper shit. I'm a fuckin man. I have a penis, and i like vagina. Nothing wrong with that. I've lived in Columbus the past 5 years and I've never seen more fine ass women than in that spot tonight. It was one of those nights where everything magically comes together, and you just happen to be there, nahmeen? Where the weather goes from 35 degrees to 65 degrees, and you just gotta bask in that shit and enjoy it. Hell, as i was headed to the spot i knew it was gonna be on by how many fine chicks i saw walking to the spot looking good as i tried to find my parking space. But i digress. I'm drunk and I'm gettin off topic.

What i decided tonight, through careful analysis, and extensive field testing is that we as men are our own worst enemies. Feel me on this shit. When we don't get laid we tend to blame women..."aw that chick was hating!" or "man, those chicks was frontin!" but let me tell yall straight the fuck up why 90% of dudes don't have success with women:

Because we always have too many of our boys around.

Let me hit yall with some truth here. So tonight, as I'm seeing a record number of amazing chicks at the spot, I also see a strange crowd of dudes at the spot that i never seen before--big ass body-building, bouncer, guido lookin ass dudes. Just as some background we have the Arnold Schwarzenegger convention in town this weekend so that's to be expected, but here's the thing. Dudes were standing in packs dancing with dudes. What part of the game is that? Its bad enough they're dancing with dudes, but then they even got the nerve to be knocking bitches down and being all agro with it? I seen some dudes in there knocking bitches over...just doing some bastardized version of the crip walk...dudes so big that NOBODY wanted to scrap with them or tell them they were outta line. Shit man, it looked like the WWE was having a convention in there tonight, and i for one only likes to fight when he thinks he can win. I dont know about yall but i actually think before i throw hands.

But my point is this: what the hell makes you as a dude think that you can really come up on a nice young woman when you rolled out to the club 4-deep? You trippin. You trippn even more because you actually have the nerve to stand in a circle and dance with your boys like chicks really like that kinda shit...the only people who like to see buffed dudes dance like that are homosexual men. Which is NOT what you seem to be aiming for.

So I'm gonna speak from experience when i drop this jewel on yall. The most action i ever get is when i roll solo or bring (listen up here) at the most ONE cat with me. Anything over that decreases your chances of coming up, tremendously.

So from the bottom of my black ass heart, I would respectfully like to ask all of you dudes to STOP BRINGING DUDES TO THE SPOT. Please. Its for all of us. The more meatheads you bring the less pussy all of us get. Not because yall have more game, or are better looking, but simply because when women are outnumbered they feel uncomfortable. Because of you and you're meathead friends. So the more chicks the better. If you're gonna go out, then bring ONE dude with you. Not 2, not 3, not 8--ONE.

I'm tired of pretending that it's ok to roll deep to some shit just because your homie hasn't been out in a while. Fuck that, take his ass to a strip club. Leave this shit for us. We got this shit. This is what the fuck i do. I do these things quite frequently and I'm here to tell you that you're fucking up the game. So for the love of God, please stop bringing hardlegs to the spot. That's not hot on the streets.

Word is blog.

Face Lift

Yeah, had to give the blog a little facelift. Yall thought I was gonna rock the basic layout forever, huh? We do these things. Still working on it.

Word is Blog.

Pictures from my "Keep Bouncing" Video Shoot

I shot a music video for a song off my upcoming album called "keep bouncing" a couple months ago. Since the song is pretty much about the dumb shit that goes through your mind when you're drunk and bouncing around from bar to bar, I figured it was only right that I shot it at some local Columbus bars. We shot it in one night at three seperate bars: Skullys, Cafe Bourbon Street, and Carabar. Although about 90% of it was shot at Carabar. My homie Bridget had her camera and took some pictures. As you may or may not know, shooting music videos involves a great deal of standing around waiting for your part to come up, so it should come as no surprise that these pictures are of us doing just that--standing around and waiting.

I figure I would post this because the videographer just told me that he's really close to being done and should have a draft to me soon. I'm excited.

All photos by Bridget Brown

My dude Zero Star...




























Me and Envelope:














Justin, the director:














Cara behind the bar:





















Wes and Envelope:















Detox, somebody whose face is covered up by Detox's hand, me, and Ron:
















Video for "Keep Bouncing" and my new album "Adventures in Counter-Culture" coming soon.

Word is Blog.

GREENHOUSE (Blueprint & Illogic) in the studio

Illogic and me in the lab, working on the new greenhouse album.



Also, Illogic has a CD coming out on march 24th called "Diabolical Fun". This is the flyer for his CD Release party in Columbus, if you happen to be in our area. I'll be there probably working the merch table:




























Yes, I do actually make music sometimes.

Word is blog.

last night = bugged out

(originally written dec 19th, 2008)

i had to tell this story...

so last night me and seance are at ladies 80s drinking beer, waiting to pass out some flyers for the new years show. we're off in the cut standing right between the two bathrooms kickin it and this little ass dude walks up and just posts up next to us. dude was looking real serious. so we keep talking and clowning and dude is still there. dude is like "man, yall clowning over here!" but he still had that serious look in his face..real focused. at first i thought he might have thought we were in line for the bathroom, so i was like "we're not in line for the bathroom" just so dude would know. and little dude is like "nah, i'm not going in the bathroom, i'm waiting on somebody to come out. i gotta handle some shit". So i'm like "damn, you look real serious, is it about to go down?" and he's like "yeah man, a muthafucka disrespected me and I'm about to handle that. hes in the bathroom, so i'm gonna wait for him to come out and see whats up." so me and seance are like cool, we're gonna post up here because this shit is about to get entertaining.

we ask little dude what happened and he said that big dude kind of pushed him aside and was like get out my way lil dude. he said he didnt appreciate it, so he was gonna confront him.Little dude was so focused and bout it and he couldn't have weighed more than 125 pounds, max...and he was maybe 5'8 or so and didnt even look like the kind of dude who was on some scrappy shit.

so little dude goes back to waiting for another couple minutes, so you know the suspense is building on our end like whats about to go down, and then finally this BIG ASS DUDE walks out. This cat was like probably around 6 foot 2 and weighed at least 225 pounds. and soon as he walks out the bathroom, little dude rolled up to him and starts wispering some shit in his ear, talking to him real gangsterish. we cant hear what he's saying to dude but you know something real is being said. i'm expecting the big dude to either fuck little dude up, or be on some leave me alone or i'll fuck you up type shit, but what happens? BIG ASS DUDE BACKS DOWN AND WALKS AWAY.

So we ask little dude what happened and he's like "dude said he didnt want no problems with me and just wanted to have a good time. then he apologized." I was like "holy shit!"

I woke up today laughing about that shit. Little dude had the heart of a lion. That shit could've went real bad for him, but big dude saw that he was gonna be fighting this little cat to the death and didn't want no part of that drama.

thought I'd share that with yall...

Best quotes from yesterday's conversations

1. "She's like the ODB of cooking" - me referring to this girl who cooked possibly the best 3-course meal I've ever had in my life, while being completely hammered and high the entire time.

2. "I'm tired of everything right now man. If I wasn't such a pussy I'd actually kill myself." - friend of mine speaking on being depressed.

3. "no bad vibes. heard ya made it with my x, congrats.. i couldn't take her back, she was not too happy." - random myspace message

4. "Between the stress of work and the meds, my libido is pretty much gone."- girl that I was actually out on a date with.

That last one had me like this:

Conspiracy Theory Revealed--Women's Health Magazine

So I'm at this dinner party tonight, drinking wine and eating some amazing food, and while the food is cooking I pick up a magazine on the dinner table; Women's Health magazine. I figured it couldn't hurt to kill some time while we were waiting on the next course to be served.

So as i'm reading this magazine to myself, i instantly realize that some (if not most) of the articles in it are actually pretty funny if you read them out loud. So for a while i was reading them out loud and we were cracking jokes about it.

See, when i was younger i used to sometimes read women's magazines in my search to learn more about what women write and think when men aren't around, you know? It's like locker room talk for men, where we get to see what they really think about us. Probably the same reason I was always a fan of Sex & The City. So none of that shit was new to me. I actually find that magazine as well as other magazines like Cosmo extremely entertaining on some bugged-out shit. You just have to not take them so seriously and they're pretty damn funny.

So as I'm flipping through this magazine the craziest thought occurs to me, that i will get to a little later, but peep this.

Here are some titles of a few articles in it and some direct quotes:

GIRL TECH MAD EASY - here's what technology does for us: simplifies, improves, and adds more gigabytes of power to our insanely busy lives. Here's what technology does to us: makes us feel like morons."

The entire article goes on to explain such cutting edge concepts as defraging your harddrive, backing up your harddrive, "3 amazing tivo tricks", and the ever important "buttons you never press but should!"

The illest quote in the entire article is "the answer to lots of tech problems: reboot". Really? Wow.


CAN HE READ YOU? Get Your guy to match the face with the feeling"Whether you're at a family dinner or an office bash, being able to wordlessly commmunicate with your guy is crucial to surviving the stressful holiday season. But does he really know how to decode your facial cues? If he cant tell the difference between "Let's Stay Longer" and "get me the hell out of here", pass him this page--pronto"

15 MOMENTS THAT DEFINE A RELATIONSHIP
This almost seems like an interesting concept, but its the most ridiculous shit I've ever heard. Here's a couple of ground-breaking "moments" that define a relationship:

The First Kiss
The First Morning After
Finding the nerve to say "i love you"
The First time he lets you control his car/remote/ipod (WTF?)
When you notice yourself no longer primping for him.

Here's another amazing quote from Women's Health magazine:

"Republicans are better at partying. They have more money, and they have more vices. They're dirty birdies"

I promise I'm not making this shit up, but think about this quote from an article titled "Male Brain Explained":

"Get Inside His Head - New research shows that when it comes to emotions, men and women really are wired differently"

Really? There's scientific data that really proves men and women are different? My mind is completely blown...after all these years of thinking we were on the same shit, my brain is about to explode. And since you've got scientific data it must be true, right?

Now, I know yall are gonna think I'm crazy for this shit right here, but here's my theory:

After reading this magazine, i truly believe that it is written by men--not women.

Stay with me here.

I think that if you visited their headquarters all you would find is an empty factory with a bunch of dudes, sitting around smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, drinking beer, and writing shit that sounds girly and insulting to women just for kicks and to make money. I truly believe that there is no way a single woman works for this magazine. No way.

Let that marinate. Then go back and read the magazine and I promise you will feel me on this.

The shit in this magazine is so insulting to the intelligence of women in general that there's no way a woman could be writing it, let alone a building full of women. If women actually wrote it, they might actually think that the implication that technology "scares them" is insulting, or that taking time to try to train your man to read your non-verbal cues defeats the entire purpose of communicating in the first place. They might actually find it insulting that somebody wrote 500 words dedicated to the fact that men and women are "wired differently" when we all know this is obvious without scientific data to back it up.

Hell, I would even go so far as to say that magazines like Women's Health are more damaging to women than all the really blatantly "boys will be boys" magazines like Stuff, Blender, FHM, and shit like that because at least those magazines don't present themselves as anything other than what they are--excuses for dudes to talk about dude shit and look at hot chicks. It's a wolf, you know it's a wolf. Whereas Women's Health actually looks like a sheep but is really a wolf, feel me?

Marinate on that shit for a second...let me know if you feel me on this.

Word is blog.

Notice anything "unusual" about this picture?

(Besides me looking pretty goofy, of course)



















Don't front, you see that shit.





Click on the image to enlarge it if you need to.





Shit's funny, right?


Word is blog.

The worst thing about being cockblocked

It's not the fact that you have to go home by yourself.

It's not the fact that somebody stopped you from doing what you wanted to do, and from fucking who you wanted to fuck.

It's not the fact that the person you wanted to fuck with totally backed down and left you out to dry when their friends questioned their decision-making.

Truthfully, all that shit is pretty easy to accept.

However...

The worst thing about being cockblocked, is that moment when you get home, and you lay down in your bed, and you realize that the person who stopped you from having sex is actually at home right now having sex and you're not.

Be honest, that shit burns, don't it?

Word is blog.